Why report a satsuma to the Peelers?

Leave a comment

March 11, 2015 by Whispering Smith

Whispering Smith Column published in the Littlehampton Gazette February 26th 2015

A friend of mine was seated at her dining room table playing paper games with her two grandchildren when there was an almighty crash and a missile sailed into the room behind a blast of flying glass. The youngsters were undamaged but frightened and the shattered glass was everywhere. The window cost sixty pounds to replace the result of a mindless act of vandalism on a quiet winter’s evening. I asked her if she had reported the incident to the police and her response was predictable, what would they do? She had not seen the youngsters only heard them laughing as they rabbited down the street. She was right of course, the police were not likely to send out a CSI team to dust a rock hard, two month old Satsuma – the aforementioned missile – for fingerprints or to test it for any dna  left by the teeth marks in the leathery skin. Still, on the other hand it was a crime and now it is an unreported crime and will therefore not show up on future stats when those in charge kid us that crime in Littlehampton is falling. What is actually falling is the reporting of crime as, like my friend, many victims will simply assume it to be a waste of time. When my front door bell was stolen some years back, I reported it and received a very nice letter back offing me counselling. I should have taken the offer as I still miss that doorbell…

VERY early one morning after that brief snowstorm a few weeks back, I looked out of my bedroom window and watched a full brushed dog  fox walking across the car park opposite my house. Five minutes later he retraced his dinted paw prints and wandered back from whence he came only this time he had a whole pizza hanging from his mouth. Question is, where did he buy a pizza at that time of the morning?

MY thanks to the readers who wrote in to me regarding the Forlorn Horse. The only news I have is that he is no longer tethered on the Yapton Road and I only hope he is in a warm shelter for the winter months and will be walking through tall grass come summer.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: